What a journey this has been.

I felt a deep calling to Thailand, specifically to attend a 10-day silent meditation retreat at Suan Mokkh. I had experienced Vipassana before, but I was curious to explore the Buddhist teachings offered at Suan Mokkh and deepen my practice.

Undoubtedly, this path of self-discovery is one of the most challenging—and yet most beautiful—journeys one can embark on. We rarely realize how much chaos exists within us until we are met with complete silence. No distractions. Just nature, presence, and our own minds.

I was reminded of something so simple, yet so profound: we are nature. And yet, as a society, we have drifted so far from it. In silence, I became deeply aware of how often we attach ourselves to the identity of “I” and “my.”
We say:

• “I am this or that”
• “My car”
• “My body”

But truly, even our bodies are not ours—they belong to nature. Everything within us is made of nature. And nature’s only law is impermanence.

This truth hit me deeply during the retreat: attachment breeds suffering (dukkha). We suffer because we cling—to our identities, possessions, thoughts, and roles. But when we can detach from the illusion of ownership, we are left with presence. Peace.

So I ask you, as I asked myself:
What are you clinging to with “I” or “my”?
Because nothing is permanent. We take nothing with us when we pass.

Through this journey, I also saw clearly how even after shedding many material possessions and choosing to live my “dream life” of travel and freedom—I was still suffering. Why? Because I was still clinging to a sense of “self.” I was still attached to the idea of “my journey” and “my life.”

So I invite you to reflect:
Who are you if you’re not your job, your role, your cause, or your story?
Who are you beyond the labels?

One of the most unexpected but impactful moments was losing my only luggage while traveling. At first, I felt panic—but then, relief. It was just a weight I no longer needed to carry. And when I eventually got it back, it actually felt heavier.

The teachings reminded me that clinging to the “I” and “my” is ignorance. And ignorance breeds selfishness. Selfishness gives rise to greed, anger, ego—and ultimately, conflict. All rooted in the illusion of “I” and “mine.”

When we meditate, we begin to see through these illusions. We observe the breath, the sensations, the thoughts, and realize: all is temporary.

We cultivate mindfulness, concentration, and loving awareness (metta).
And slowly, the noise of the outside world fades.
What remains is stillness, presence, and peace.

Here are some quotes and reflections from my retreat that may resonate with you:

• “Listen to the body’s condition.”
• “One breath; one moment.”
• “Nature is the greatest source of energy.”
• “When speaking, be useful, pleasant, and truthful.”

One of the most liberating aspects of Suan Mokkh was the absence of mirrors. Without them, I didn’t compare myself to who I was yesterday. I didn’t judge how I looked. It made accepting impermanence so much easier.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to attend a meditation retreat—go. It’s a journey back to your true self. A space for clarity, for discipline, and for remembering what really matters. Every time I go inward like this, I return stronger and more grounded.

Thank you, Suan Mokkh, for this sacred space. And thank you, silence, for reminding me that everything I need is already within.