This quote resonated deeply with me:

"People are paddling in the shallow end of life, hustling, chasing, constantly focused on the future as if they’re going to eventually reach the gold at the end of the rainbow. But the gold they seek is woven into the rainbow itself. They’re just too busy chasing the illusion of the pot of gold to notice the depth of beauty they’re already existing within."

For years, that was me—always hustling, always chasing, trying to get somewhere, reach something.

It may have served me in getting where I am, but it no longer does.

When I arrived here in Peru, I detached completely from everything back home. I hadn’t been able to find a tenant in time, and everything kept falling through. Then, I learned my mortgage was up for renewal. I was shocked that five years had passed so quickly, and the new interest rate meant I wouldn’t make any money on my property. My property manager suggested it was the perfect time to sell.

I was in Bali, wrestling with this decision, surrounded by people who had gone through similar experiences selling everything and leaving. I took that as a sign, along with the fear I was feeling, to lean in.

My human design motivation is fear, and I felt compelled to lean into it, knowing that’s where growth lies.

The realtor wanted to list the property low, hoping for a bidding war, but I disagreed and posted it higher. Even then, we still received a bidding war.

When I returned home, my car had issues and needed maintenance. Jokingly, I called out to the universe, “Give me one more sign to sell my car.” Not long after, my car was rear-ended, and I was paid out by insurance.

And now, here I am in Peru, having left everything open for the universe to fill me with whatever future blessings are meant for me.

Except… my inner conditioning isn’t used to this. I’m trying to stay present and enjoy the moment, constantly having to pinch myself, realizing that I created this. I try not to think too far into the future, but thoughts like, I have to come back to reality, still arise. My mind wants to plan, to figure out how to sustain this dreamlike lifestyle. I’m not used to living in the unknown, and it makes me feel lost. Admitting that to a friend recently brought up a wave of emotion.

I feel lost. Lost in limbo, lost in space, lost in the unknown. And just as I was typing this, a shadow crossed above me. I looked up and saw several massive hawks circling the sky.

Curious, I looked up their meaning: Spiritually, hawks can represent higher learning and being in the flow of creation.

I’m in awe. The universe is so beautiful in how it works. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

As I become more comfortable letting go of control and surrendering to the flow, I’m allowing excitement and wonder to fill me. Life with uncertainty is fun and exciting—it’s like a spice, a touch of mystery. How boring it would be to plan every year ahead, to know what’s coming.

I wouldn’t live; I wouldn’t enjoy myself.

I have a sense of where I want to go, but I’ll continue to flow with the dance of the universe.

I used to say, "What’s meant for me will be," recently thinking I needed to know exactly what I wanted to manifest.

Now, I realize that maybe just a sense of knowing, without needing the details, is enough.

I am always enough. Everything that is happening is unfolding exactly as it should.

I’ll continue to live in wonder and awe, trusting how this present moment is guiding me.

I am so grateful and blessed for the connections and support of the Divine. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🙏